SEA IN THE SKY
By
Christine Alemshah
[WC: 196]
The stormy sea sky mocked me. Could Daddy and I see the same sinister moon? Hopefully, he’s tucked safely inside his ship, not in danger of falling overboard as the swirling clouds suggested.
“No costume, Beatrice? It’s almost time for trick-or-treating,” called Mom.
I kicked the screen door. It squeaked. I hoped it might break.
“You don’t want to go?”
“I can’t, Mom. The sea is in the sky tonight.”
“I think it’s lovely with that crescent moon up there.”
“You mean the frowning crescent face staring at me? It’s creepy — and Daddy…”
“Was supposed to go trick-or-treating with us?,” Mom finished.
I nodded.
“I miss Daddy, too. It stinks he got deployed at Halloween. Ok, no trick-or-treating. Something else in mind?”
I squeezed my eyes shut as Daddy’s smiling face painted my mind. His tummy rumbled with a quirky chuckle while dolloping dots of frosting on our noses. Frosting — that’s it!
“Can we make graveyard cake with cookie headstones?”
Mom’s chin crumbled, her voice hitched. “Daddy’s favorite. I’d like that.”
The screen door whooshed as we left the stormy sea sky behind us. It could mock me no more.
Wow, Christine – this is so well done.
I love the simplistic and pure power you packed into 196 words.
Good luck.
Thank you so much for stopping by and reading my little story! You’re kind comments mean the world to me!!
I like the layers to this story & how the MC pivots to deal with their problem. Good luck in the contest.
Aww thank you, Carrie! I’ve been thinking a lot lately about adding layers to stories and I’m so happy to hear you felt that stood out! Thanks for visiting my blog!
Christine, what a great piece. So much emotion. Love it! Good luck, Rosanna
Thank you, Rosanna! Your kind words brightened my day and I’m so happy to hear the raw emotions I felt writing it came through!
Beautiful writing and packed so full of emotion!
Thank you Katie! I’m so happy my story resonated with you!
Simply beautiful, Christine. You know the way Beatrice feels right upfront. She’s worried for her father, angry that he’s not home, and then at the end you get a tiny peek into the mother’s feelings, too. Beatrice isn’t alone. Really nice job. And what a unique perspective on this photo! Good luck!!
Thank you, Melisa! I’m so happy you felt all that from this piece! You certainly know I stayed up at night trying to make it right! Thanks for reading and I appreciate your support!
For sure!
Christine! I love this. That last line is so powerful.
Thank you, Allison! That is one of the lines I stared at over and over before submitting! I appreciate your kind words!
This is so powerful! Great job conveying all this emotion in so few words. I remember watching a ship leave Charleston back in the ’80’s, and seeing everyone waving goodbye. It broke me. Thanks for giving a voice to the kids (and moms) who stay behind and have to make new traditions when a piece of their hearts are out at sea.
My heart wrenches just hearing about those families. It is such an awful feeling. And back in the 80’s there were no cell phones or texting either, adding an extra level of heartbreak. Thank you for stopping by and reading my story!
I love the last line. Such a great way to end this story.
Thank you, Erika! Your support means the world to me!
This is such a sweet read! Loved it, Christine!
Thank you, Jackie!!! I’m so happy it resonated with you!
Awww, I love this daughter missing Daddy story. Great idea! Good luck with the contest. 🙂
Thank you, Bonnie! I spent so much time missing Daddy, my heart aches whenever I see a child in the same position!
Beautiful word imagery! I’m feeling the heart and emotion of your character. Lovely layers leading to a satisfactory ending. Well done!
Thank you, Charlotte! Your comments made my day!!
This is lovely, Christine. Your character, premise, and vivid setting are distinctive and well-done. Good luck in FF!
Relatable for so many families! I appreciated the mom’s flexibility and MC shifting to a memory and activity that brings dad closer even though afar. Thank you for sharing!
This is beautiful Christine. I love the emotion you’ve embedded in this story. Congratulations
This is powerful, Christine. Such vivid imagery, from “the sea is in the sky,” to “dolloping dots of frosting,” and all is tied together by authentic emotion. Best of luck!
Beautiful, Christine! I love it.
LOVE the image of the sea sky and all the emotions it evokes. Well done!
Your story made me well up, Christine. Particularly the part where ‘Mom’s chin crumbled, her voice hitched.’ Beautifully told <3
Aww, thank you Melissa! I had hoped to capture the emotions of the moment. I’m so glad they shone through!
So much emotion in this piece, Christine. Your story will relate to many families. Well done and good luck!
I was curious about what kind of stories would come from this picture!
Nicely done, Christine!
Thank you Colleen!!
This is such a lovely story filled with emotion! Well done, Christine!
This was a wonderful story. I really enjoyed it!
I loved this! Such a sweet story, touching story. Well done!
Love how you show the emotions of the main character. The ending is so touching. Well done!
This is so powerful! So much emotion in the last few lines. Well done!
Thoughtful and heartfelt connection between mother & daughter.
Good Luck!