#FallWritingFrenzy Contest Entry: SEA IN THE SKY

Fall- Credit: Vino Li / Unsplash



Christine Alemshah

[WC: 196]

The stormy sea sky mocked me. Could Daddy and I see the same sinister moon?  Hopefully, he’s tucked safely inside his ship, not in danger of falling overboard as the swirling clouds suggested.

“No costume, Beatrice? It’s almost time for trick-or-treating,” called Mom.

I kicked the screen door. It squeaked. I hoped it might break.

“You don’t want to go?”

“I can’t, Mom. The sea is in the sky tonight.”

“I think it’s lovely with that crescent moon up there.”

“You mean the frowning crescent face staring at me?  It’s creepy — and Daddy…”

“Was supposed to go trick-or-treating with us?,” Mom finished.

I nodded.

“I miss Daddy, too.  It stinks he got deployed at Halloween. Ok, no trick-or-treating. Something else in mind?”

I squeezed my eyes shut as Daddy’s smiling face painted my mind. His tummy rumbled with a quirky chuckle while dolloping dots of frosting on our noses. Frosting — that’s it!

“Can we make graveyard cake with cookie headstones?”

Mom’s chin crumbled, her voice hitched. “Daddy’s favorite. I’d like that.”

The screen door whooshed as we left the stormy sea sky behind us. It could mock me no more.

40 Replies to “#FallWritingFrenzy Contest Entry: SEA IN THE SKY”

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by and reading my little story! You’re kind comments mean the world to me!!

    1. Aww thank you, Carrie! I’ve been thinking a lot lately about adding layers to stories and I’m so happy to hear you felt that stood out! Thanks for visiting my blog!

    1. Thank you, Rosanna! Your kind words brightened my day and I’m so happy to hear the raw emotions I felt writing it came through!

  1. Simply beautiful, Christine. You know the way Beatrice feels right upfront. She’s worried for her father, angry that he’s not home, and then at the end you get a tiny peek into the mother’s feelings, too. Beatrice isn’t alone. Really nice job. And what a unique perspective on this photo! Good luck!!

    1. Thank you, Melisa! I’m so happy you felt all that from this piece! You certainly know I stayed up at night trying to make it right! Thanks for reading and I appreciate your support!

    1. Thank you, Allison! That is one of the lines I stared at over and over before submitting! I appreciate your kind words!

  2. This is so powerful! Great job conveying all this emotion in so few words. I remember watching a ship leave Charleston back in the ’80’s, and seeing everyone waving goodbye. It broke me. Thanks for giving a voice to the kids (and moms) who stay behind and have to make new traditions when a piece of their hearts are out at sea.

    1. My heart wrenches just hearing about those families. It is such an awful feeling. And back in the 80’s there were no cell phones or texting either, adding an extra level of heartbreak. Thank you for stopping by and reading my story!

    1. Thank you, Bonnie! I spent so much time missing Daddy, my heart aches whenever I see a child in the same position!

  3. Relatable for so many families! I appreciated the mom’s flexibility and MC shifting to a memory and activity that brings dad closer even though afar. Thank you for sharing!

  4. This is powerful, Christine. Such vivid imagery, from “the sea is in the sky,” to “dolloping dots of frosting,” and all is tied together by authentic emotion. Best of luck!

  5. Your story made me well up, Christine. Particularly the part where ‘Mom’s chin crumbled, her voice hitched.’ Beautifully told <3

    1. Aww, thank you Melissa! I had hoped to capture the emotions of the moment. I’m so glad they shone through!

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