#FallWritingFrenzy Contest Entry: SEA IN THE SKY
SEA IN THE SKY
By
Christine Alemshah
[WC: 196]
The stormy sea sky mocked me. Could Daddy and I see the same sinister moon? Hopefully, he’s tucked safely inside his ship, not in danger of falling overboard as the swirling clouds suggested.
“No costume, Beatrice? It’s almost time for trick-or-treating,” called Mom.
I kicked the screen door. It squeaked. I hoped it might break.
“You don’t want to go?”
“I can’t, Mom. The sea is in the sky tonight.”
“I think it’s lovely with that crescent moon up there.”
“You mean the frowning crescent face staring at me? It’s creepy — and Daddy…”
“Was supposed to go trick-or-treating with us?,” Mom finished.
I nodded.
“I miss Daddy, too. It stinks he got deployed at Halloween. Ok, no trick-or-treating. Something else in mind?”
I squeezed my eyes shut as Daddy’s smiling face painted my mind. His tummy rumbled with a quirky chuckle while dolloping dots of frosting on our noses. Frosting — that’s it!
“Can we make graveyard cake with cookie headstones?”
Mom’s chin crumbled, her voice hitched. “Daddy’s favorite. I’d like that.”
The screen door whooshed as we left the stormy sea sky behind us. It could mock me no more.
40 Comments
Chris Garcia-Halenar
Wow, Christine – this is so well done.
I love the simplistic and pure power you packed into 196 words.
Good luck.
Christine Marie Alemshah
Thank you so much for stopping by and reading my little story! You’re kind comments mean the world to me!!
Carrie Karnes-Fannin
I like the layers to this story & how the MC pivots to deal with their problem. Good luck in the contest.
Christine Marie Alemshah
Aww thank you, Carrie! I’ve been thinking a lot lately about adding layers to stories and I’m so happy to hear you felt that stood out! Thanks for visiting my blog!
Rosanna Montanaro
Christine, what a great piece. So much emotion. Love it! Good luck, Rosanna
Christine Marie Alemshah
Thank you, Rosanna! Your kind words brightened my day and I’m so happy to hear the raw emotions I felt writing it came through!
katie
Beautiful writing and packed so full of emotion!
Christine Marie Alemshah
Thank you Katie! I’m so happy my story resonated with you!
Melisa Wrex
Simply beautiful, Christine. You know the way Beatrice feels right upfront. She’s worried for her father, angry that he’s not home, and then at the end you get a tiny peek into the mother’s feelings, too. Beatrice isn’t alone. Really nice job. And what a unique perspective on this photo! Good luck!!
Christine Marie Alemshah
Thank you, Melisa! I’m so happy you felt all that from this piece! You certainly know I stayed up at night trying to make it right! Thanks for reading and I appreciate your support!
Melisa Wrex
For sure!
Allison Strick
Christine! I love this. That last line is so powerful.
Christine Marie Alemshah
Thank you, Allison! That is one of the lines I stared at over and over before submitting! I appreciate your kind words!
Melissa
This is so powerful! Great job conveying all this emotion in so few words. I remember watching a ship leave Charleston back in the ’80’s, and seeing everyone waving goodbye. It broke me. Thanks for giving a voice to the kids (and moms) who stay behind and have to make new traditions when a piece of their hearts are out at sea.
Christine Marie Alemshah
My heart wrenches just hearing about those families. It is such an awful feeling. And back in the 80’s there were no cell phones or texting either, adding an extra level of heartbreak. Thank you for stopping by and reading my story!
Erika Romero
I love the last line. Such a great way to end this story.
Christine Marie Alemshah
Thank you, Erika! Your support means the world to me!
Jackie
This is such a sweet read! Loved it, Christine!
Christine Marie Alemshah
Thank you, Jackie!!! I’m so happy it resonated with you!
Bonnie Kelso
Awww, I love this daughter missing Daddy story. Great idea! Good luck with the contest. 🙂
Christine Marie Alemshah
Thank you, Bonnie! I spent so much time missing Daddy, my heart aches whenever I see a child in the same position!
Charlotte Dixon
Beautiful word imagery! I’m feeling the heart and emotion of your character. Lovely layers leading to a satisfactory ending. Well done!
Christine Marie Alemshah
Thank you, Charlotte! Your comments made my day!!
Sarah Meade
This is lovely, Christine. Your character, premise, and vivid setting are distinctive and well-done. Good luck in FF!
Dena Davis
Relatable for so many families! I appreciated the mom’s flexibility and MC shifting to a memory and activity that brings dad closer even though afar. Thank you for sharing!
Kerry Gittins
This is beautiful Christine. I love the emotion you’ve embedded in this story. Congratulations
Becky Kimbrough
This is powerful, Christine. Such vivid imagery, from “the sea is in the sky,” to “dolloping dots of frosting,” and all is tied together by authentic emotion. Best of luck!
Sarah Rose
Beautiful, Christine! I love it.
Armineh Manookian
LOVE the image of the sea sky and all the emotions it evokes. Well done!
Melissa-Jane Nguyen
Your story made me well up, Christine. Particularly the part where ‘Mom’s chin crumbled, her voice hitched.’ Beautifully told <3
Christine Marie Alemshah
Aww, thank you Melissa! I had hoped to capture the emotions of the moment. I’m so glad they shone through!
Delia Black
So much emotion in this piece, Christine. Your story will relate to many families. Well done and good luck!
Colleen Dougherty
I was curious about what kind of stories would come from this picture!
Nicely done, Christine!
Christine Marie Alemshah
Thank you Colleen!!
Susan Schipper
This is such a lovely story filled with emotion! Well done, Christine!
Melissa Rotert
This was a wonderful story. I really enjoyed it!
Susan Mannix
I loved this! Such a sweet story, touching story. Well done!
Karen Pickrell
Love how you show the emotions of the main character. The ending is so touching. Well done!
Stephanie
This is so powerful! So much emotion in the last few lines. Well done!
Celeste Turner
Thoughtful and heartfelt connection between mother & daughter.
Good Luck!